1. Poker Term Ghosting
2. Poker Terminology Ghosting Us
3. Poker Terminology Ghosting People

Ghosting is a colloquial term used to describe the practice of ceasing all communication and contact with a partner, friend, or similar individual without any apparent warning or justification and subsequently ignoring any attempts to reach out or communication made by said partner, friend, or individual.^[1][2] The term originated in the early 2000s. In the following decade, media reported a rise in ghosting, which has been attributed to the increasing use of social media and online dating apps.

Origin of term[edit]

Keyboard ghosting is when a keyboard doesn’t register a key being pressed even though the user has pressed it correctly. This is typically due to the keyboard’s manufacturer trying to keep costs down by using cheaper parts. When you’re typing on a keyboard like normal, you may never suffer from keyboard ghosting. Kill games are used in limit poker (and sometimes pot limit), but straddles can occur frequently in no limit, limit, and pot limit games. In a kill game, when the kill conditions occur, the winning player posts what looks like a straddle, double the big in full kill games, a bit less in half kill games, and the betting limits subsequently. Ghosting is by no means limited to long-term romantic relationships. Informal dating relationships, friendships, even work relationships may end with a form of ghosting. For the person who does the ghosting, simply walking away from a relationship, or even a potential relationship, is a quick and easy way out. Poker Forum = A place for the discussion of poker by an online community of poker players. Poker Prop = a prop is poker player employed by the poker sites in order to keep games moving. You only really get them at new sites, for obvious reasons. They play poker with their own money, but receive a fee for playing (usually based on rake).

The term is used in the context of online exchanges,^[3] and became popular by 2015 through numerous articles on high-profile celebrity relationship dissolutions,^[4][5] and went on to be widely used. It has been the subject of numerous articles^[6] and discussions^[7] on dating and relationships in various media. It was included in the Collins English Dictionary in 2015.^[8]

In popular culture[edit]

Ghosting appears to be becoming more common.^[9][10] Various explanations have been suggested, but social media is often blamed,^[11] as are dating apps and the relative anonymity and isolation in modern-day dating and hookup culture, which make it easier to sever contact with few social repercussions.^[12] In addition, the more commonplace the behaviour becomes, the more individuals can become desensitised to it.^[13] Others have suggested that it is due to the decline of empathy in society, along with the promotion of a more selfish, narcissistic culture.^[14]

Ghosting is not limited to only intimate relationship contexts. It can also happen between friends or even family members,^[15] and be practiced by employers with prospective candidates.

In personal relationships[edit]

Ghosting may be especially hurtful to those on the receiving end, causing feelings of ostracism and rejection. Some mental health professionals consider ghosting to be a passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse, a type of silent treatment or stonewalling behaviour, and emotional cruelty.^[13]

In his article, 'In Defense of Ghosting', Alexander Abad-Santos states: 'the thing that undermines these diatribes against ghosting is that...[we] know what happened with their ghost. It just didn't work out and sometimes we just can't accept it.'^[16] He continues: '[a]t the heart of it, ghosting is as clear as any other form of rejection. The reason we complain about it is because we wanted a different outcome ... which is totally understandable.'^[16]

However, this argument does not account for the inherent ambiguity in ghosting—the person being ghosted does not know whether they are being rejected for something they or somebody else did, whether the person doing it is ashamed or does not know how to break up (or is scared of hurting the other's feelings). Also the ghost may simply not want to date the victim anymore, or may have started dating someone else while keeping the ghostee as a reserve option in case a relationship does not work out with that other date, as well as they can be facing serious problems in their lives. It may become impossible to tell which it is, making it stressful and painful.^[17]

Related terms and behaviors[edit]

While 'ghosting' refers to 'disappearing from a special someone's life mysteriously and without explanation',^[18] numerous similar behaviors have been identified, that include various degrees of continued connection with a target.^[19][20][21] For example, 'Caspering' is a 'friendly alternative to ghosting. Instead of ignoring someone, you're honest about how you feel, and let them down gently before disappearing from their lives.'^[22] A possible response to ghosting has been suggested with 'ghostbusting': forcing the 'ghoster' to reply.^[23] Then there is the sentimental and positive, but also ghost-related in origin, Marleying, which is 'when an ex gets in touch with you at Christmas out of nowhere'. 'Cloaking' is another related behavior^[24] that occurs when an online match blocks you on all apps while standing you up for a date. The term was coined by Mashable journalist Rachel Thompson after she was stood up for a date by a Hinge match and blocked on all apps.^[25]

Research[edit]

In 2014, a YouGov survey was taken to see if Americans have ever ghosted their partner to end a relationship. In a 2014 survey, 1,000 US adults were interviewed about ghosting with results yielding that just over 10% of Americans have ghosted someone to break up with them.^[26]

See also[edit]

References[edit]

1. ^Safronova, Valeriya (2015-06-26). 'Exes Explain Ghosting, the Ultimate Silent Treatment'. The New York Times. ISSN0362-4331. Retrieved 2020-02-10.
2. ^'Where Did the Term 'Ghosted' Come From? Origin of the Web's Favorite Term for Abandonment'. Mic. Retrieved 2020-02-10.
3. ^Bartz, Andrea & Ehrlich, Brenna (April 14, 2011). 'Don't be offended by online-dating rejection'. Netiquette. CNN.CS1 maint: uses authors parameter (link)
4. ^Edwards, Stassa. 'Charlize Theron Broke Up With Sean Penn By Ghosting Him'. Jezebel. Retrieved 2016-02-03.
5. ^'Charlize Theron Gets a Black Belt in Ghosting'. The Cut. Retrieved 2016-02-03.
6. ^'The Common 21st-Century Dating Problem No One Knows How To Deal With'. The Huffington Post. Retrieved 2016-02-03.
7. ^Safronova, Valeriya (2015-06-26). 'Exes Explain Ghosting, the Ultimate Silent Treatment'. The New York Times. ISSN0362-4331. Retrieved 2016-02-03.
8. ^''Ghosting' is now in the dictionary - so is dating etiquette dead?'. The Independent. Retrieved 2016-02-03.
9. ^Perel, Esther (2015). Stable Ambiguity and the Rise of Ghosting, Icing and Simmering.
10. ^'I Asked Men Why They Ghosted Me'. VICE. United States. Retrieved 2016-02-03.
11. ^'PsycNET - DOI Landing page'. doi:10.1037/1089-2699.8.4.291.Cite journal requires journal= (help)
12. ^'And Then I Never Heard From Him Again: The Awful Rise of Ghosting'. The Date Report. Archived from the original on 2014-08-20. Retrieved 2016-02-03.
13. ^ ^ab'Why Ghosting Hurts So Much'. Psychology Today. Retrieved 2016-02-03.
14. ^'It's time to bring back relationship accountability'. Be Lucky In Love. Retrieved 2016-02-03.
15. ^'I Was Ghosted by One of My Closest Friends'. Cosmopolitan. 2015-08-27. Retrieved 2016-02-03.
16. ^ ^abAbad-Santos, Alexander (24 March 2014). 'In Defense of Ghosting'. The Atlantic. Retrieved 9 June 2018.
17. ^'Why Ghosting Hurts So Much'. Psychology Today. Retrieved 2016-02-03.
18. ^Peters, Mark. 'How Tinder and OKCupid spawned a new genre of slang'. Boston Globe.
19. ^Lanquist, Lindsey (September 29, 2017). 'Breadcrumbing, Stashing, and Other Internet Dating Slang I Wish You Didn't Need to Know'. Self.
20. ^Swantek, Samantha. 'Breadcrumbing Is the New Ghosting and It's Savage AF'. Cosmopolitan.
21. ^Alves, Glynda (May 15, 2018). 'Breadcrumbing, orbiting and more: Update your dating dictionary with these new-age terms'. Economic Times. India.
22. ^Benwell, Max (1 March 2018). 'Ghosting, Caspering and six new dating terms you've never heard of'. The Guardian. Retrieved 9 June 2018.
23. ^Benwell, Max (1 March 2018). 'Ghosting, Caspering and six new dating terms you've never heard of'. The Guardian. Retrieved 9 June 2018.
24. ^Dermentzi, Maria. ''I was cloaked.' What it's like to be blocked and stood up by your Hinge date'. Mashable. Retrieved 2019-05-11.
25. ^Thompson, Rachel. 'My Hinge match invited me to dinner and blocked me as I waited for our table'. Mashable. Retrieved 2019-05-11.
26. ^'Poll Results: Ghosting YouGov'. today.yougov.com. Retrieved 2020-02-10.

You’re in a relationship. Suddenly, and maybe without any warning at all, your partner seems to have disappeared. No calls, no text messages, no connection made on social media, no responses to any of your messages. Odds are, your partner hasn’t unexpectedly left town because of a family emergency, and isn’t lying dead in a ditch somewhere but, rather, has simply ended the relationship without bothering to explain or even let you know. You’ve been ghosted.

Who Ghosts and Who Gets Ghosted?

Why would someone choose to simply disappear from another person’s life, rather than plan, at minimum, a conversation to end a relationship? You may never know for sure why you were ghosted. While more studies need to be done specifically on the ghosting phenomenon, past research has looked at different types of attachment personalities and choice of breakup strategies; it’s possible that people with an avoidant type personality (those who hesitate to form or completely avoid attachments to others, often as result of parental rejection), who are reluctant to get very close to anyone else due to trust and dependency issues and often use indirect methods of ending relationships, are more likely to use ghosting to initiate a break-up.

Other research found that people who are believers in destiny, who think that relationships are either meant to be or not, are more likely to find ghosting acceptable than people who believe relationships take patience and work. One study also suggests that people who end relationships by ghosting have often been ghosted themselves. In that case, the ghoster knows what it feels like to have a relationship end abruptly, with no explanation, no room for discussion. Yet they seemingly show no empathy toward the other, and may or may not experience any feelings of guilt over their ghosting behavior.

What it Means to Ghost and Be Ghosted

Ghosting is by no means limited to long-term romantic relationships. Informal dating relationships, friendships, even work relationships may end with a form of ghosting. For the person who does the ghosting, simply walking away from a relationship, or even a potential relationship, is a quick and easy way out. No drama, no hysterics, no questions asked, no need to provide answers or justify any of their behavior, no need to deal with someone else’s feelings. Certainly, while the ghoster may benefit from avoiding an uncomfortable situation and any potential drama, they’ve done nothing to improve their own conversation and relationships skills for the future.

Poker Term Ghosting

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Poker Terminology Ghosting Us

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For the person who is ghosted, there is no closure and often deep feelings of uncertainty and insecurity. Initially, you wonder “what’s going on?” When you realize the other person has ended the relationship, you’re left to wonder why, what went wrong in the relationship, what’s wrong with you, what’s wrong with them, how you didn’t see this coming.

What to Do If You’re Ghosted

Ghosting hurts; it’s a cruel rejection. It is particularly painful because you are left with no rationale, no guidelines for how to proceed, and often a heap of emotions to sort through on your own. If you suffer from any abandonment or self-esteem issues, being ghosted may bring them to the forefront.

In this age of ever-advancing technology, your ghoster is likely to appear on your various forms of social media and, if that’s the case, this person who is now physically gone from your life, is still quite visible. How do you move on? Unfortunately, there’s no magic bullet or proven advice to quickly guide you into recovery from a ghosted heart, but there is common sense.

Poker Terminology Ghosting People

“Avoid reminders of your ex,” advises Gwendolyn Seidman, Ph.D., Associate Professor of Psychology and Chair of the Psychology Department at Albright College in Pennsylvania. “They’re likely to cause painful emotions to resurface, and they won’t help you get emotional closure or insight into why they broke up with you.”

After you stop torturing yourself by going over old photos, saved old texts, new social media postings, and anything else you think might give you insight into the mind and current whereabouts of your ghoster (and let’s face it, you’re bound to be doing that even if you’re not normally an obsessive person), try to find a new distraction. Perhaps most importantly, know that this probably isn’t about you or anything you did wrong.

“You should realize that if your ex chose the strategy of ghosting to break up with you, it likely tells you something about them and their shortcomings, rather than indicating that the problem lies with you.” Dr. Seidman adds.

In other words, try to move on as quickly and completely as you can. Maintain your dignity and stay focused on your own health, happiness and future, leaving the ghoster to deal with the ultimate repercussions of their own immaturity and lack of courage in the context of a relationship.

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